*breathe* Calm down...

Hi

Yes, it's been nearly a month.. But I've been busy in my new job, OK? How is it? It's going brilliantly - I absolutely love it. We've lost the contractors, but I like my team I work with. SR can get a bit testing, sometimes.. I feel like he's competing with me in everything I do sometimes, but I tend to just ignore him when he gets like that and get on with my work. As I'm settling in much more and getting to know ppl better, I'm beginning to come out of my shell a bit more. I got ppl from all 3 desks out last week for drinks and everyone had a good time. Even RF came out - And I was previously told that she *NEVER* comes out with ppl from work. I nearly fell off my chair when she said she would come out (OK, I have a bit of a crush on her too). I'm getting on famously well with BT though - I've even extended an invitation for her to join our little restaurant club, I think she'll make a good addition :)

I fly out to Miami on Friday morning, which means travelling overnight by coach to Heathrow. I'm deliberately getting an earlier coach so that I get there early enough and allow enough time for any delays. I still haven't been paid my overtime yet which is worrying me a bit as it means that I only have my credit card, and some US currency. I know that J will be paying me some money when I get there for her share of the hotel room, so I guess it means I will have about $600 cash - Which is plenty. Hell, I could buy an iPod with that! When you consider that all my meals on the ship are paid for anyway. I guess I'll be OK. I'm still querying that they should be paying me more than I think I'm going to get, though.

I'll be writing another travel journal and taking as many pictures as possible. I intend on having the time of my life and will do my very best to enjoy every single moment. I've finally found some flight socks that fit me properly, so I'm a lot happier about that. I'm on the aspirin already, am gonna get some probiotic tablets and some milk thistle too from Boots. I've noticed that for this trip, I've been all worried - A lot more than I normally would be. Perhaps it's because I'm older, perhaps it's because I really have lost a lot of self confidence, perhaps it's because I pay too much attention to the little feeling I keep having that I won't go on this trip. I'm usually a woman of instinct, but I'm just terrified this time. Either something will happen to me just before I go, or something will happen to me whilst I'm on holiday. Perhaps my years of being fat will finally catch up on me whilst on holiday.. I am terrified. But I know that I'm being slightly irrational.. It's not like I can drop the weight off in 2 nights or something, and if I worry so much - Where am I going to find the time to relax and have fun? *sigh*

Still, last day at work tomorrow :)