"We lucked out on that one"

As I mentioned in a previous blog, my pay got all messed up and I didn't get the additional payment until 4pm, Thurs afternoon - The day before I was due to leave. In my usual lack of self control, I spent too much previously so my cashflow was a lot less than I expected. I went out on Thurs to get some last minute stuff, including getting my hair cut again because I didn't like the mullet-effect of the current hair style. I was pretty happy with the length at the top and front, it was just the back bit I didn't like. I went to a different branch of Supercuts and you can imagine how I felt when from out back, who should come out but the very same hairdresser who cut my hair the week before? *squirm* Well, she cut my hair - A HECK of a lot shorter than I wanted it to be! I actually felt like a complete butch dyke. All I could think of was "I can't have my photo taken with Emmylou looking like this!" Still, it was too late to do anything more about it.. I guess I'll just have longer hair for a while now!

And then, after clearing my credit card, I realised that I had forgotten my PIN - The day before I travel! I knew that it would take 3-5 working days, so it would mean asking YKL to open my post for me, and then either texting or phoning me. I figured that I should be OK for the hotel as it should be here by the time I check out - If the hotel is all Chip and Pin, that is.

And then there was the journey before. I had previously said that I had deliberately got the earlier coach incase anything happened, and I could always check in early and just wait in the lounges. NOPE! I got to Heathrow T3 @ 03.15, COMPLETE darkness, it's FREEZING cold and I haven't brought my scarf (only my hat and gloves) and T3 is looking rather closed. In fact, I can't even get to the Virgin Atlantic desk because there are a load of workmen there. I ask someone who works there who tells me that the desk doesn't open until 6am - Great! Still, I would rather get all the crap luck out of the way now so that my holiday itself could go smoothly. Oh, there's one more crap bit of luck - I get seated next to some hoity-toity woman who was obviously less than happy at having a fat person like me sat next to her. At one point, I wanted to have a go at her and say that I've paid for my ticket as much as she did and if she was that up herself, why was she in Economy and not in Premium Economy or Upper Class?.

The journey to Miami was long and quite painful (because of the woman sat next to me). I was worried enough anyway, but the 10 hours really dragged and I couldn't sleep at all. I managed to watch "Atonement" in about 6 sections, but I didn't enjoy that journey at all - I just wanted to be in Miami. When we eventually landed, I knew that it would be warm (it was 28C) so I didn't put on my jacket, but I could still feel the warmth from my flight socks and trainers baking me. We were about 20mins late in landing, and it took about 90mins to pass through customs and stuff. I got a bit confused by the customs guy who asked me how many cartons of cigarettes I had, I thought he meant packets, so I said "10" and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. It was only after I showed him that I had the one carton of 10 packets that he explained that was OK.


As it turns out, this is where my luck changed. I met up with J and we headed for the hotel. It felt good to be back in Miami again - to be with J again. I felt a sense of calm and knew that the next 10 days were going to be pretty spectacular, I had a fantastic time in Miami with J 4 years ago and I had no doubt in my mind that this time wasn't going to be much different. For one, the hotel was signing - Not chip and pin. Turns out that most of the USA is still signing. I tell you, with all the signing on the ship too - My signature hasn't been so great in a long time!. So we head up to our hotel room and I'm fully expecting some shitty view of downtown Miami (not Downtown, I mean the slummy parts). The website showed the views overlooking the Bay and I didn't even think we would get anything like that - I just wanted to see the size of the room and the beds! We both struggle with our bags and I open the door.. I look into the room and see the balcony and I immediately see the view from the website - We have a Bay view window! OH MY GOD J!! OH MY GOD!!! I leave J in the corridor with all the bags and run to the balcony - LOOK AT OUR ROOM! AT OUR VIEW!!! OH MY GOD!!! The room is HUGE, we both have Queen beds and the view, well! It was just spectacular. J and I looked and each other and both nodded in agreement as we acknowledged that we both lucked out.

Other times we lucked out on our trip:

- The weather held out for us throughout the trip (well, except for when it pissed down with rain just as we got to Hell, which was amusing).

- We encountered some juvenile kids trying to drag race at every traffic light on the way back from Key West. Strange as it may sound, we're lucky there were only kids and not some rednecks out on a Sat night.

- None of J's family were hurt or badly affected by the Tornado.

- Angel, our guide to Tulum. He was both friendly and informative, and he was obviously very passionate about the subject matter. At the gift shop we stopped at, he showed us the difference between authentic and fake items. Instead of making us trek for 30mins uphill to the entrance to Tulum in the baking sun (and it was HOT!), he suggested we took the train uphill that took 2mins. He stopped to talk to us in the shade of whatever trees were nearby. He was a great guide, rather than someone who just mumbled and pointed at things left right and centre.

- Grand Cayman. Well, our pirate adventure didn't happen as we honestly thought we were the only 2. So we decided to abandon it. However, we really wanted to go to Hell so we could send postcards and stuff, I wasn't too bothered about other stuff. When you disembark at the port, the taxi rank is full of "taxi" drivers who are offering their cabs (mini buses) for tours of the island for $20 - $36. There is someone from the port authority noting every booking that the taxis take so I felt a bit better about that knowing that they were regulated. Now this lady was traditionally built, and from the face on, she looked normal. She had on a white polo shirt which was tucked into some blue jeans and she had on a belt, but when she turned either sideways or if you saw her from behind, you were greeted with can only be described as the most extraordinary sight I've ever seen on a woman! So she's traditionally built and thus has a rather large backside, but it's like she had another bum STUCK ONTO her normal bum - It really did stick out like something from an old Spitting Image puppet. If I didn't look twice, I would have said that it was a prosthetic bum stuck (badly) onto her bum. I tried to get a photo, but she kept turning around to talk to me (she was the sweetest lady, too which didn't help) so I couldn't take any pictures. But anyway, our taxi driver - Miss Ursula - was a bit off with us at first, but the port authority lady said that she was OK - And she certainly turned out to be. Even though nobody else in the van wanted to go to the post office in Hell and it was pissing down with rain, she stopped for J and myself and didn't make us feel bad about it at all. I wasn't going to look into the rumcake place - Until she mentioned that they actually bake it on the premises and you could try them there. I tell you, they were the lightest, fluffiest sponge cake I've ever eaten - And I don't normally like rum. I ended up spending about $60 there. So yes, we ended up lucking out with Miss Ursula.

- Ocho Rios, with Empress Grace. All week, I had been worried about our Jamaica excursion because of the levels of homophobia we had been warned about. A lot of GLB's on the ship decided to stay on the boat because they didn't want to support an economy that supported homophobia and whilst I didn't necessarily feel that way, I certainly didn't feel too safe out on my own with J - And she felt even less safe. Still, we both wanted to get something to show that we had been there - Just a T shirt or something, and I knew there were a couple of shopping malls near to the docks. We both got up fairly late (11am) and it was about 12.30 by the time we headed off the ship (we needed to be back by 3pm, so going to Dunn's River Falls was out of the question). We walk through what looks like some industrial dockland (it was actually a Bauxite mine) and J says to me "You go, I'm not feeling it" I tell her to come along and I get approached by a middle aged woman asking what we got planned. I tell her that we only wanted to go to the shops and she offers to drive us because it's a long walk uphill - For only $3. Well, we can't go wrong and she seems OK, not pushy. If it were a male driver, I wouldn't have gone, but Grace seemed OK. As we get into her cab, I tell her that there's one other thing I would love to do and that is try some local food.. I want curried goat, rice and peas, callaloo, oxtail, ackee and saltfish - Grace turns to me in wonder and says "you know our food?" I explain how there's a large Jamaican community here in Birmingham and I love their food. Grace says that I'm talking her language and she knows the right place. Ocho Rios is beautiful, the town is like any other town and before we knew it, Grace is pulling over at a place for food - Mom's Restaurant, it sounds perfect. It's actually tucked away BEHIND another building just off the main road, and we walk in to be greeted by a room full of locals eating. This is exactly the kind of place I was hoping to eat from. I want to try everything! but instead, I plump for the oxtail (Grace's recommendation) and the ackee and saltfish for J. Grace sits with us throughout the whole time and we get chatting to her about stuff. We get our take-outs and Grace drives us to another shopping mall (better than the ones closer to port) and directs us to one shop that has everything we need. She waits outside making sure that we don't get any shit from any of the hoods or something - We DEFINITELY lucked out here! All shopping done, she drives us back to the ship. All done in just over an hour.

- I forgot to mention that I saw Emmylou Harris waiting for the tender boat to the ship at Grand Cayman. Whilst waiting for the taxi, I noticed a few guitars, I look up and I spot Emmylou's Mother (with walking frame), there's someone else with grey hair and similar facial features I don't recognise - And then I see Emmylou herself. She's got her hair tied back and has a large hat and sunglasses on but I know it's her - And I'm about 7ft away from her! I rush back to J who's chatting to some other ppl from the cruise and just about manage to say that it's Emmylou Harris over there. The bloke doesn't believe me but follows me over and immediately says "Yes, it *IS* Emmylou Harris." All this on Chinese New Year! I'm so happy!

- Wayan, our cabin steward. He was a complete sweetheart and whilst I know he was doing his job in turning out our beds every night. I don't think he left an animal made of towels for everyone. When I got chatting to him and he revealed how he was going to leave the cruise ships because he misses his family too much back in Bali - And that he phones them every day because he misses them so much (he has a 4 year old daughter), I nearly cried. J and I gave him a tip of $100 each because he deserved it so much, as I shook his hand and gave him the money, I told him to go back home soon because his daughter missed her Daddy.

- Carnival staff. Most of the staff we encountered and stayed with were really great. I miss hearing Carmen in the Trident bar saying "Hi honey! What can I get for you?" or when you order a drink, her saying "I got it, honey!" with a big smile on her face. Desi was another great bartender - And she made the best Pina Coladas! Even most of the croupiers were a good laugh - Magdalena (especially when she said that she liked the shops in the UK... "I like Boots"). But in general, the staff were really friendly.

People - Nearly everyone we met on the boat were really friendly and as I have said before, we're all likeminded people there to appreciate music. But we were especially lucky to meet the mother and daughter couple (the Modo's, as we call them). I loved going into our local, Trident bar and Mo waving at us enthusiastically saying "HEY!", and Do's sarcasm and catchphrases "That shit ain't right" and "That's fucked up". I'm glad we hooked up with them.

Of course, my luck changed when it was time to go home when I managed to lock my PIN at MIA on the way home. Tried calling Orange from a payphone in the US - And they cut me off!. Bah! Still, the luck was great whilst it lasted.