My Family

I love my family. I love every single member of my family. Sure, I am closer to some than I am to others - I've even said that one or two are dead to me. But I know that deep down in my heart - I still love them. And I love them because they are my family. They are the closest people on this planet to me. I love my parents - both of them. Sure, they piss(ed) me off every now and again, but the reason I stay(ed) at home is because I knew that no matter how far away I was from home, I was always worried about them. In the great Nature vs Nurture debate that so often accompanies homosexuality, I do sometimes wonder if the reason I'm gay is because I had such strong female role models in my life. But hey, I'm not here to talk about that..

All of us girls are very different in our ways, but we do have certain similarities that show we're related - Our love of food, for example. YKL and I have similar tastes in food, Sandie is the only person in this world whom I can swap plates with half way through a meal because we both wanted more than one dish, so ordered what we would most like and then swap halfway. I'm close to most of my sisters, the only 2 that I'm not so close to are my oldest 2 sisters - Mandy and Wendy.

Growing up, it was always that Mandy (the eldest) was originally the slight rebel of the 2 - Not especially studious, not especially obedient, slightly spoilt. Whereas Wendy was the obiedient one, the one who was particulary considerate and was never frivolous with her belongings or anything. As a kid, I never really got to know the 2 of them that well as Mandy already had 3 kids of her own by the time I was born, and Wendy had gotten married when I was 3. I had always been quite scared of Wendy but I knew that I could always rely on her when it came to Mum because Mum actually listens to what Wendy says. Mandy on the on hand has grown more distant to us - She's had a few big arguments with Mum and Dad and has said and done some terrible things, so we don't really speak to her.

Maria (Mandy's eldest daughter) currently lives in Singapore and is currently over in the UK whilst her kids are on school holidays. They came over last year and we tried to get Mum out to have lunch with her but Mum point-blank refused to because she was so angry with Mandy and as far as she was concerned, the fruit doesn't drop too far from the tree. Both Sandie and I tried, but she refused to budge. When I got home tonight, I spotted Wendy's car outside the house and wondered if she was here for the day. Turns out that she is staying over the weekend to spend some time with Mum and also because I'm going to Londinium tomorrow to see Monkey: Journey to the West opera. I immediately felt slightly awkward because I rarely chat to Wendy. Our relationship has gotten better in recent years (especially just after Mum's stroke), but whilst Wendy and I may look completely different, there is still that underlying care and love for each other. Whilst saying goodnight to Mum, she mentions to me that Maria is in town again with her kids and would like to go for lunch. Mum actually said the words "Don't let the younger generation pay for the sins of the older generation" which is a very Wendy-like saying, and I knew immediately that Wendy had instigated it and whilst I was initially surprised that Mum hadn't gone off on one like she had last year, I was also immediately relieved and happy to hear Mum talk of some sort of reconciliation, and I knew none of this would have been possible without Wendy.

I'm not too sure what I'm trying to say here exactly.. I guess I just want to capture this moment where I am full of admiration and hope - And I'm yet again in awe of how much I love my family.