In Memoriam

It's coming up to Dad's Deathday (May 31st), so naturally, I've been thinking about him a bit more in recent days. It's been 7 years and whilst the pain and emotions are not so raw anymore - The feelings you experience with such a loss are still there.

The first step was to actually be able to call it a Deathday - You have a day of birth, so why not a day of death? You wouldn't use the word "anniversary" to describe the day as I often associate it with happy occasions and whilst we try to celebrate his life - We are overwhelmed by the feeling of sorrow and loss. Besides, everyone knows what I mean when I say a Deathday.

I've also begun to talk about him a bit more. I was chatting to Elsie about food (naturally) and she mentioned how she doesn't really go for food that has been ground - Like patés and sausagemeat around Scotch Eggs (it's a textural thing). I mentioned how we don't really grind and pound food in Chinese cookery, but I then thought of how I used to love it when Dad would be chopping up some meat finely on the board with 2 meat cleavers. I used to love the sound it made and would giggle at how he would have some strange head/body movement that accompanied it, or how a movement that was very much like a drummer would produce such a thing. Of course, the meat didn't really matter after that - I loved the process of it all. I remember fondly the first time I tried to do it myself - Only to realise that I was hopeless at it! I could get the sound I liked, but not chop the meat up at all!

I got a bit teary this morning though - I was looking at my shelves and saw a Chinese jewellery bag and I had no idea what it was. I opened it up and found Mum's watch - to go with Dad's watch I kept after he died. The two of them bought matching his and hers watches years and years ago and when we were in Hong Kong in 2006, Mum was going to sell it until I asked her to keep it as I wanted to keep the pair given I had Dad's watch. Mum gave me her watch last year but I had completely forgotten about it until this morning. I opened up the case to Dad's watch too and saw that there were 2 tie-pins in there. One of the things about Dad is that he liked to wear a tie all the time - Even if he was wearing a polo shirt! But generally, he wore a shirt and tie - And always with a tie pin/clip. I remember Hannah saying just after he died how she would like one of these pins/clips and given how she's coming over in July, I think it would be the perfect time to hand one over to her.

I have no point to this post.. Just wanted to get it off my chest, I suppose..